Monday, June 30, 2008

ytd acturlly wanted to go sentosa wif xueli they all de...but in the end nv...coz i reach there aready 2.50 like tat le...then my frien tat guy said ok can bring me in...then c the watch very late le..coz he got to reach home by 8...cannot stay out too late coz he got tagging de...b4 8 must reach home..i cannot like he sent me there then ask him go off himself de ma...like very bad lo...so i deside not to go in lo...coz very late le also goin to rain the go in also awhile...so nv go lo...so sorry to them...i think they r angry wif me ba...coz i msg them n call them also dun wan reply n pick up...so ya lo..also not i dun wan to go in de...is tat guy dun wanna go at first...but in the end he say ok lo go lo...he say wan to go underwater world ma...then i say dun go lo...very late le late he late also not good...so i msg xueli lo...but she nv reply then my frien tat i just know called me to ask where am i...i told her i nv go le..i msg xueli le...she she tell them...then i dunno y i think a gal use xueli hp to call me..she like talk very fast...n tat guy beside me so i very hate to talk...then she say wat i say ya lo...then she like very angry like tat...coz tat gal say i reach 2+ de lo...i was like huh?2+?coz i know is like amost 3 then i reach de...i go in also need time ma...reach there dunno wat time le lo...then tat guy also have to go off early ma...i cannot like so bad ask ppl who sent me there to go off just like tat ma...very bad de ma...i know to them i also very bad la..say ok will go de in the end nv...but they also nv wait for me after they come out...they just go off...if i nv call my tat frien i just know i will be like so stupid at there wait for them..my movie come out aready 6+ le...she say they aready at bugis le...then i know they r angry wif me n i think they wont wan to be my friends le ba...it ok...last friens nvm...at most i got one good frien is ok le...tat y i nv put friends at the first...coz at first is wendy wif treated me so badly...n it hurt me so mach...coz i treat her as my best friens ever...but in the end she lie to me again n again...making storys...make my life so badly...still remember tat she told my ex tat i love ppl to touch my tat...but my ex know she is lieing...he told me...n i was really very angry wif her for doing this to me...i really dunno in the pass wat did i do tat make she do this to me?there r more of it...she make my lost my job...but she say i can go work wan wat y must follow her this n tat...but is she the one who say tat she help me tell boss tat i n her go visit her grandma together wan...but she tell me tat she quite tat job ardy...i was like huh?n it make me think tat she is trying to make me to have no work...now i dun contect her coz i hate her very mach...i really hate ppl doin this to me...n it was like i do nth to them lo...or maybe i did n i didnt know?i dunno...i just know i nv....

Friday, June 20, 2008

today after work went to meet xueli they all...meet a teacher...haha...go eat...acturlly is we pay ourself de...buy dunno y end up teacher pay all..coz she use net...then everybody like nv pay her back..so i also nv pay her back lo...all together got 11 ppl go eat together...then the payment is 200+...haha...i n xueli share food...c the ice cream??haha...we share tat ice cream...first time eat like tat de ice cream...not bad la...but i dun like some of it...coz i dun like some food...hehe...then order some other things to eat too...teacher order fries, dunno wat prawn thing...n wat ring...lol...then we chated there...lol...teacher also dirty minded de...lol...ok la...also fun...everyboby laugh...laugh til stomach pain...lol...lucky is we finnish our food then say de...if not very hard to eat..lol...then after food went to wait for bus we sit n smoke...too some pic too...lol...my frien stepf keep danceing around...alot ppl keep looking..lol...she very daring...if me i will very paisay de..lol...also fun la...lol...after tat go home...haha...so tired...wan to sleep soon le...

ya today his mum wanted to sent me back so ok lo...they sent me go tmart meet my frien...his mum tell me to be frien wif him...maybe long le n we know each other very well le then we get together again lo...i was like huh?he dun every love me le..no feeling toward me le...be friends only can be friends forever le lo...coz tat time i was really very angry wif him so i say to him i go my way he go his way...n so on n so for...i really cant remember wat i say le...now he really take my words...ok lo...fine lo...since he really wan it to be like this then i got nth to say lo...but i work at there really very xin ku lo...his parent was there his family also there....make me feel very wat lo...hai...wat can i do??

this feel day very busy...got alot of work to do..cant finnish it...this job finnish next job come next job finnish another job come...so busy sia..make me very tired...ok gtg sleep le...it very late le...bye!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Sunday, June 15, 2008

sian...y?yeveryday keep dreaming of him??really hao xin ku ar...he wont even come back to me anymore le y still dream of him, think of him??aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!go work him family was there...they keep saying about him...make me think of him mmore n more...make me miss those days being of wif him n his family...really really hao xin ku ar!! :..( ...it make me feel unwell everyday...wan to cry but cant cry...aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!wat can i do??he may be having a gf now??dunno la....very fan!!!i hope i will just die!!whole body was in pain now...wanna die wanna die wanna die!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

fucking world!!!!fucking life!!hate it!!hate everything!!hate myself!!! :..(

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Saturday, June 14, 2008

today go prem my hair...hehe..coz wen hui last min busy so got to find someone else to pei me...all my frien very busy today...so i asked a guy who i know few days ago...lol...he ok la...can c he is shy...i was like thought he will look fat or wat de...but just now saw him like so shy like tat...he look like one of my ex...lol...the way he talk...lol...he will joke joke de...

just now let him wait for me til so long...lol...so bad sia...lol...from 1+ do til 4 to 5 +...lol..ok la...then go eat kfc...lol...too same pic of me...hehe...he also too pic of me...lol...then got one he take me n him together...on his phone...but i dunno if he got delete coz dun really look nice..haha...then went to walk walk after eating...walk around taka...walk til nth le then went to sit down...then went home le...he goin to meet his frien so i go home lo...so sian now...my bro know i got tatoo le...haha...dun care..my mum n dad still dunno...dunno wat will they say about it...dun care la..hope they wont scold...haha..

ok now headach again le...go do my blogshop now...bye!!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

tistus wif my blood...lol...look like the shape of my tatoo...hehe

today after work went to put tatoo...hehe...was scare at first....scare of pain..but doin tat time dun really feel very pain....only some part of it feel really pain til like no feel like tat...got blood come out...lol...non stop...got too some pic of my tatoo...hehe...

at there keep thinking alot of things...on my way to any where also this of him...hai...:_(...maybe he really got a new gf le ba...hai...i am really very bad to him ba...coz i love him very mach n i dun wan him to hurt me...but now he hurt me so badly...hai...everytime wan to cry but i cant coz i am not at home...tat time at bus i cry out...coz i think of him too mach...hai...today at tm i saw tat guy he wif his gf was shopping...lol...i knew he already got a gf...he look also not bad...but can c him look like ah beng....today coz waiting for xueli they all to come so i went shop shop...c those clothes de design...c how mach they sell...then was very hugry waiting for them to come so i went to b1 to buy kobayashi to eat...then went to find a sit to sit down n eat...after tat call them n ask where r they then went to find them...i waited for 1hrs+ coz they go cut their hair ma...then wait for another gal then go do my tatoo le...do it at tempines 400+ there...at first go in no ppl de...then the person is a malay guy help me do de..he look hamson too...lol...kah hui they all i think they like him..they ask for his num..lol..when doin he keep asking xueli they all if i am crying??lol...of coz no la...not really pain ma...but i keep sharking...coz pain n scare ma...not really pain like wat...is like go panknife cut like tat...coz i use panknife cut myself b4 so i know how was it like...i keep telling my self tat it yup a normal panknife cut...not really pain de..just think of somethings sad so i dun really feel the pain...i keep tryin n tryin...tat guy on tat time n go near to my back i keep kana shork...lol...my frien all very funny...ask for the price ask him give cheaper la...then tat guy say u be his gf he do for her free lo...lol...not saying me la...saying kah hui frien...lol...sian nth to do le...goin to bed soon...tmr go do my hair...hehe...good night!!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

feeling sick...more n more sick...today at work his mum touch me n say i am having fever...but i dunno isit my body feel hot only of really having fever...coz i feel headach too...now also headach...sian...today kana say alot...coz do so many thing wrongly...so they keep saying me lo...so stress...work also stress...at home also stress...at friens also stress...at my blogshop also stress...hai...dunno wat to do...do everything everything also stress...head really very pain...i really wish tat someone will be by my side to care for me...n share my stress...n i wont be so stress...i am a human not a robbot...tat can put so manythings in the head...i am so sick of it...my body getting weaker n weaker...almost dieing le...this few days dunno y when walking home i feel like i am goin to faint...maybe i am not enough blood ba...coz i just read something about it...it say not enough blood de ppl will like tat de...n feel tired everytime...this few days i at work keep felling asleep...must stand up n do work then wont fell asleep...sign...stand til i very tired...maybe not ba...hope it not ba...sign...aaaahhhhhh!!i am goin crazy again!!!so stress!!so pain!!!

I AM DIEING!!!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

this morning i dream of him..n one gal which is a less...i was wif tat less...n he was behind us...lookin at us...from tat...i know he still like me...then i n tat less was sleeping together...he keep lookin n lookin scare we will do something...then i went to the toilet...n they chated about a game...then i came back n i woke up le...so tired...wanted to sleep more...then was like thinking of how to say to get mc??but i think again...no i cant coz if i wan to get mc i need to go n c doctor n get one mc letter...but i dun wan to go c doctor...how ever if i sick or not i wont go n c doctor...

today he came to my house...he kissed me...but he say he just feel like kissing me only...wat is this???he dun love me y still do all this??it hurt me more n more lo...i already trying to forget everythings about him...n he just came n hurt me more...i am really goin crazy!!everyday keep thinking of him n his family...i dunno how am i goin to tahan...everyday keep hearing his name...it really hurt alot lo...really hao xin ku lo...today nv eat dinner...got la...eat hot dog on my way home lo...then after tat nv eat le....no mood to eat...ytd also the same...hai...when will it end??

this friday goin to put tatoo...trying to draw a design..c if they can do it for me not...hai...my heart really hurts lots!!i really dunno how long can i stand...i am goin crazy!!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Thursday, June 5, 2008

today go work...early ba...after work go meet wen hui at tm..then take mrt to orchard shop shop...eat dinner there...ok la...was fun...i bought one dress cost $53 so ex....coz it shopping mall ma...at the forever 21 de shop...then shop finnish then went to buy drinks n went home le...today dinner eat the dunno call wat...cook outself de...ok la...not bad the food...alot ppl go eat the food...

on the way home we chated about our blogshop n wat we goin to do this sat n sun...dunno if tmr i got come tat thing not...coz if dun have then this sun can go swimming wif wen hui...she goin to do her hair ma..i wnted to do de..but dunno lei...she say her uncle do de very ex de...but very nice...i also dun wan to waste money...c lo...if ok then i do lo...sign...

then on the way walking home i told her wat i dream last night...i dream tat i n her wif him n his mum went shopping together at orchard...then i n her all the way like in a game like tat...like alot of wall moving around...it wood de...then we must faster run...if then wall hit us very pian de...then she was like run out le...then i was like still in there..then she say faster faster come out...at tat time i tought i was dieing le...but no...i suddenly jump out...n i got out...but 2nd round coming...it up n down de...we must from the floor move out...must use our clothes to rule ma...then i was like so scare of dirty...so i was so scare...then wen hui say u wan die of u wan dirty??then i was like huh?then ok lo...then we slide out...then out side we were so dirty...then his mum n him was outside..was like nv c wat we did...then she was like calling someone to fetch them home...coz his dad was oversea ma...then i n wen hui was changing clothes...then thinking of how to go home...then they found someone to fetch them le...then was like he was askin me if i am goin over his house not?i was like...ammmm...coz i must pei wen hui home ma...coz she cannot alone go home de...not save...her parent very sayang her de...if anything happen to her comfirm very wat de...then i was like nv tell wen hui so she keep asking me how i wan to go back...then i was like blurr...then i nv ans her...then i woke up le...

coz my alarm ring...then wake up to go work...was like so tired after the dream...then go bath lo...go bath also dunno y i brush teeth also feel like vomiting...today at work i keep goin toilet to check if i got come tat thing...coz very uncomtable...then one time after my lurch go toilet wanted to vomit...dunno wat happen to me...maybe i am sick ba...coz this few day when i brush my teeth i feel like vomiting...then i vomit out wat i eat for dinner...past few days la...today dunno will not...

just cry finnish...feel abit tired...goin to bath then go off to sleep le...tmr goin work...n goin to meet my cousin also...to get my stuff...then i think nv meet xueli le...coz kah hui cannot...she got exam...so wait next friday go do tatoo lo...i think le...i wan to do...haha...coz dunno how was it...so do n c lo...i wan to slim down too...so ya...alot of things to do...so b4 i die...i wan to do watever i wan to do...haha...

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

sian...nth better to do...edit my blog...put more clothes to sell...must faster do lots lots...then do my card then can get my stock...hehe...next sat then go do...hehe...today got no mood...dunno y suddenly..so was like taking to my mum angrily...coz she walk the way make me angry...ask her dun walk up le still go n walk up...then he called me n i was typing msg to him back...so i was angry too...dunno y...just feel no mood lo...he came n read my blog...thought he wont come n read my blog...coz he dun love me le read my blog for wat...keep asking me this n tat...dunno wat to say...just everytime i typing my blog wif my bad mood...so type all rabbish in...dunno y i alway like tat...got anything also just write in blog after tat forget everything le...but sometime will remember back...dunno y...so wierd of me...tat wat i am...easily forget things...but sometime just cant forget one thing is ppl who treated me like a fool...liaring to me again n again...making me do this n tat for them...maybe i really very easy kana bully ba...tat y...tat y i hate myself...so useless...

tat y i alway dun like to be alone...no one look after me...i really wan someone to care someone to love me lots...i know some of them were just playing wif me...but i dun really care mach...coz in my life really have nth le...no hope...no love...hai...:_(...

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

ammm...dunno y this few days few like vomiting...sian..maybe is eat too full ba...but last time wont like tat lei..sign dunno wat happen to me...

today at work dunno alway go toilet...coz scare i come tat thing...coz feel uneasy ma down there...like got something like tat..but go so many time le also nth...maybe is tmr ba...so scare...

today at work so sian...n alot of things to do...like nv end like tat..then i off work late...coz the email haven finnish print ma..so late off work lo...hope got ex pay take..lol...

after work went to meet wen hui for dinner...coz mum go visit her sis..her sis was in hospital...i think is her leg thing ba...coz tat time my mum got tell me b4...i nv go visit her...coz i also not really close to her...n i off work also late le...dun wanna go any where...so go back pasir ris lo...now just bath out not long...goin to do my blogshop...add more clothes...hehe..

gtg bye!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Sunday, June 1, 2008

so sian...nth to do...today wake up around 9...stomach pain...maybe is ytd eat de food my me stomach pain ba...then go toilet then went back to sleep...

got a wried dream...dream tat i was sick...was at hospital...then my ex the one who i just broke up wif came n look at me...was like i was sleeping beside a uncle...i think is someone from my famliy..then tat guy just liar down beside me...it was night time...n it was like a magic like tat..coz hospital got video down de ma...then was like wat i did n the video is difft...i thought i was in the hospital at the first place...then suddenly was at my ex house...then like he got a sis...ya he told me he got a sis b4..then like we did something...then morning le...c outside got one gal walking around...then he went out n call his sis...then after tat i was like oh...tat was his sis...then i was like oh i am in his house...not hospital..then next thing i wake up n c i am in the hospital again...n i was like huh?then i wanted to go toilet...n xueli pei me go...then dunno y i feel wet on my pant...i think i pee on my pant ba...but i still wan to go toilet...then jing wen n bernard came...then they too the video from my room..they went to watch c wat happen...then they saw i was sleeping beside the uncle...then a guy was liaring beside me n looking at me...then suddenly we 2 were not wearing anything...then i was like still sleeping on the bed...like nv move at all..so wried...like all the while i was sleeping in the room...n did nth...then i woke up le...

then saw my bro using my com n i scolded him..who sk him to use de huh?play play play my com hor!!go away la...play somemore i delete the game hor...then he close n went out...haha...i want to log my com le..dun like ppl to touch my things...coz they dunno how to take care of things...will keep bang n bang my monitor...coz my monitor got problem ma..tat y..but is the wire nv put properly ma...then they keep banging it...wont spoit is fake lo...

so sian got nth to do...at home do my blogshop lo...haven done yet..still thinging of the problem...maybe change the skin lo...if not same as my cousin c le also look like copy cat...

ok la stop here le...go do my blog if not will need more n more days le..

Sunday, June 01, 2008

ytd went out for lurch n shop shop around....bought some pants...then went to suntec walk walk n watch movie...watch Chronicles Of Narnia : Prince Caspian got link to the earlier wan...ok la...not bad the show...coz got abit scare me..lol...n it funny...u all should go n watch ba...hehe...ya we sit at the sofa n watch de...lol..it ex...but comtable...lol..got table some more...lol..first time sitting at the sofa...lol...next time go watch movie i comfirm wan to sit at the sofa again...lol more better ma...hehe..then after movie we go shop again at bugis...bought the clothes tat i wanted to buy long time le..tat time bcoz of somebody mum then cannot buy...now him mum cannot care wat i do le...coz i n him break up le...haha...so went back n buy it lo...hehe...then after tat we goin home le...then i go home myself...my frien also go home..then on the way home my other frien called...it xueli...hehe...she n her frien was at downtown...she tought i was at home...so she miss call me...then i call her back...she ask me lo...then i told her i was at bugis on my way home le..then she say when i reach pasir ris c if they still there not lo...then i say ok..then went back...they was waiting for food...then they also help me order le...hehe...then wait with them lo...we were at bbq chicken de restaurant eating their fish...lol...ok la not bad...normal lo...then somemore so small only...lol...too some pic of it...hehe...

then pic the gal in black clothes...she look like ah lian...coz the way she talk...she some more just put angong...lol..while i goin to put one too...dunno lei...i also dunno if i can put or not...my bro say if i put le very hard to find work le...will become his ex like tat work at bar...funny lo...is his ex lazy to find other job lo...if put angong le then cannot work then y i still c those ppl who put angong still work as sales ass lei?sutpid de lo..somemore if i put i wont put on my leg wat wat de lo...will put some where ppl cannot c de lo...i am not stupid lo...then after dinner went home le...

at home wash my clothes which i bought ytd..coz my bro using my com so cant use lo...then went to sleep...then now wake up becoz my stupid bro open the door nv close then the wen zi come in...stupid de lo...then he sleeping at the living room...c lo...wat a bro i have...so lazy!!dunno will kana yi wen not...coz i saw got some things tat last time when i got yi wen will have de...too some pic for it too...